7 Things I Wish Kids Knew About Playing With Adults

When I was a young adult, before kids, before marriage, I didn’t like playing with kids all that much. I didn’t know what they wanted me to do. It all seemed so physical and so chaotic. Now that I have a daughter who’s going on three, I understand what kids want at playtime much better, and I can relax and enjoy taking part in it.

And I can also laugh about the elements of playing with kids that are sometimes stressful. Here are seven things I wish kids knew about playing with adults.

1. Death throes are exhausting. It’s kind of fun to go through the rigamarole of pretending to get shot, like … once. When you shoot me incessantly, I’m very quickly going to start muttering “ahhhh you got me again” absentmindedly while thinking about dinner. Plus, didn’t I tell you I had impenetrable scales?

2. I really want my imaginary characters to influence your imaginary world the way your characters do. This makes it more fun for me. So if I say my character has impenetrable scales, that means shooting me won’t work.

3. Stories are way better when the heroes encounter actual challenges that make them stop and think and get creative. I’ve never understood the fun of the hero winning automatically and immediately. For instance, if the villain has impenetrable scales, try other ways of conquering her besides shooting. Tickle her into a laughter coma? Use a shrinking spell to make her the size of a fly? Etc.

4. Watching is boring. You’re cute and wonderful and it’s super gratifying when you want me to watch, but I’d so much rather be involved or else doing my own thing. So if you want me to watch, I’m gonna grab another adult to be my watching buddy, ‘k? Then I can smile and applaud you while chatting.

5. Rules are rules. You aren’t special; the rules apply to you. Also, the rules are what make the games fun.

6. There’s this thing called Tired. I know you don’t understand what that means. But someday you will, and then you’ll know why I CAN’T push you across the floor in the laundry basket anymore.

7. I’m jealous that you can be so carefree when you play. I’m constantly seeing seven steps ahead of everything you do—hearing a crack!, a stunned silence, tears, trip to the ER, call to parents, Facebook post with a picture of the cast, etc. That’s what makes me an adult. And that’s okay, that’s my role. You just go have fun.

What do YOU wish kids knew about playing with adults?