Halloween: an excuse to give and receive

In some ways Bear gets the typical second child treatment. For instance, at this moment there are exactly 15 photos of Zuzu in the living room above the mantel, and exactly ZERO of Bear. And he's now ten months old. (I sure hope I get around to balancing the photo situation by the time he's old enough to look up and notice a thing like that.) In other ways, though, Bear's babyhood has looked more like the first child than Zuzu's, due to the fact that I was working when Zuzu was his age and didn't spend much time on crafty things. So he got a "My First Game" poster to hold up for the cameras at our annual Brewers weekend this summer. It was Zuzu's fifth time to Miller Park and she'd never had a sign.

She also hadn't had a handmade Halloween costume. Well, not a finished one anyway. Last year I did draw some black polka dots on a red shirt with a Sharpie. I was trying to make her a ladybug for the second year in a row. But eventually we gave up on that idea and sent her to daycare in a Packers jersey. "She's Aaron Rodgers!" We also decided she would rather pass out candy than go trick-or-treating. If you're wondering if we were just being lazy, yes, we were. 

Bear, however, got handmade hobbit feet for his first Halloween. And also a ridiculous over-the-top handmade wig (I sorta ran out of time to trim it down to size). He was Bilbo.

This year Zuzu was Cindy Lou Who. I added ruffles to a store-bought pink dress and got an oversized red Christmas tree ornament for her to hold, and made her practice the line, "Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why??" She said it sweetly, if a bit too cheerfully, but she'd draw out the last "why?" perfectly.

All four of us went out into the freezing night for trick-or-treating, Bilbo the warmest with lots of layers. We watched Zuzu trot up to ring each doorbell, so excited at the prospect of being handed candy, her hair in pigtails, her Cindy Lou Who antennas askew, and I had that familiar mommy feeling of thinking one's child is certainly the most adorable in the world.

Halloween has never been my favorite holiday, but as I watched her I remembered why we go to the trouble. Not just because kids are adorable when they're wearing silly costumes. Some people like the scary part but that doesn't appeal to me. I think we do Halloween as an excuse to give and receive. It is delightful to give to children, who receive so well, easily and happily. We can't spoil them constantly, so we set aside special days to do it.

As I watched our neighbors open their doors to my little girl, big smiles on their faces, their voices warm and welcoming, their hands full of the gift of free candy, I realized that this is what I always want for Zuzu. When she goes up to someone, tentative, smiling, hopeful, I want her to be greeted by a kind-hearted person who will open their arms to give her something good. Life will be harder than that, of course. And that's why we do Halloween. The rest of the time, people may not be nice, or generous, or appreciative of the person a child is trying to be, but on Halloween they are. "Who are you?" they ask. "I love it!" they say. And then they scoop candy into your bag. It's a magical night for a child and that's a good thing.